Have You Been Grateful?

photo taken at Taft, by Bheng Mifana.

My employer and I talked earlier about my appraisal. Well, the discussion wasn’t anything good. Because my former boss fucked up for his almost 6 month stay in the company, no one, as of the moment, can evaluate me for regularization. To cut the long story short, the VP decided to “extend” my on probe contract so she could evaluate and appraise me herself. At first, I thought “Ok.”, but as I thought things over, ugh, I should have said no.

So as I drove home, I thought it was unfair for my employer to give me that kind of deal. Okay, I know that the department where I am at is doomed as of the moment but I know I am putting my best efforts to actually cope up with the mess that my former boss brought, and to push my limits in doing everything I can just so I can make the brand sell. Making me work as a proby for another six months is a little too much for me. Bad vibes. Random thoughts filled my head; I got pissed of the usual looong traffic jam at Fairview, barbaric, motherfucker bus drivers who didn’t care if they hit a car or two… woah, today is just not my day.

But then God knows how to tame me. As I wait for the stoplight near Regalado area to signal “go”, I saw a very young couple walking along the street, carrying their not-so-healthy-looking baby with bunches of bags and plastic bags, where (I suppose) their things are stuck. They looked so tired and hungry; both of them were very thin. It was as if they were in search for a home where they can rest and feel safe.

A few meters away from that area, I saw a kid sitting at the island of the road, munching on some chips. I thought it was his dinner for tonight. He was very dirty, his clothes were all rugged, and he wasn’t wearing any slippers at all.

I know I see these scenarios everyday but tonight was so much different. I felt guilty for almost cursing my life because I didn’t get the things I wanted, from a simple traffic jam to my career, when there are people, a lot of them, who are more problematic and wounded than I am. For a time I thought I was neglecting the blessings that I have in my hands.

Kanya-kanyang problema, kanya-kanyang dinadala. Hinga lang. There are a lot of things that we should be grateful for. Ranting is inevitable, but don’t forget that we will never ever be left with nothing. We just have to open our eyes so we can see what we actually have. :)